OnTap Magazine

Send it to lucy@ontapmag.co.za and you might just see your name in print. If your story is chosen for publication, you’ll get a year’s subscription to On Tap on us! HELGA GRUENDLER SCHIERLOH I was inDetroit, Michigan and following a frustrating day, I stopped off at a local pub known for its fantastic beer selection. It was early in the evening, and with many people still at work the place wasn’t too crowded. “What can I get you?” asked a young man whose name badge identified him as James. He waved across the vast assortment of colorful labels covering an entire wall. “Our ratio of imported and national beers is about 50/50.” “When we first opened this place, we actually opted for brands that are not very common in this area,” he continued. “We have almost 40 kinds of bottled beer on top of our draft beers. So, take your pick.” “Well then, James, could I have one of those special ones you’re known for, served in tall glasses standing on the floor?” I asked. “You mean ‘the yard?’” he replied. “I didn’t know the name, but I’d really like to find out what it’s all about,” I said. Growing up in Germany where beer is revered as “liquid bread,” I have been a devotee of that golden beverage for most of my life. I learned early to appreciate a variety of different flavours. However, I was not at all familiar with “beer by the yard.” James suggested starting with a half-yard and reappeared holding a thin, tall glass with a rounded bottom. “Although this is only 25 ounces (800ml), it still takes practice to handle it,” James warned. “That bulb-like bottomwill trap air that can bubble up, giving you a face-wash or worse. So, try to enjoy your brewwithout getting wet.” It turned out that tackling merely half a yard proved to be way more of an ordeal than I expected and it took a lot of paper napkins to keep my face dry. "That’s why college kids love it,” said James, laughing at my mishaps. “Although people of all ages find it entertaining. Once we even had an 85-year-old lady taking on the half-yard!” As I was gettingmore adept in handlingmy glass, a nearby drinking companion introduced himself as Nigel. He was working on a full yard (which holds almost a litre and a half of beer), and as he manouevred the long, thin glass he volunteered his knowledge of the yard’s history. “It’s an old English tradition that has its roots in fox hunting,” claimed Nigel, his cockney accent giving him away as not hailing from these parts. “Placing a long-stemmed vessel right next to the horse enabled the riders to quench their thirst without having to dismount.” Nigel also pointed out that the yard was central to “the race,” a well-known European drinking contest that varies slightly from country to country. While the English fill a yard-style glass with beer, the Germans do the same with a glass boot, before passing the drink from one participant to another. The yard’s rounded bottom poses the greater challenge, since the shape of a boot can be better manipulated. Pointing its toes upwards, thus trapping more air, almost guarantees a beer shower. However, tilting the foot sideways or downwards is likely to keep you dry. In any case, the last person to drink before the one emptying the glass must then pay for the next round. Luckily we weren’t in competition, for while I still had beer left in the bottom of my half yard, Nigel had expertly emptied his. “I’d better get on home,” he said, rising from his table. “My dear wife is going to kill me.” “Are you driving?” I asked nervously as I watched him holding onto the table. “Nope,” he slurred. “I happen to live just round the bend. I never drink and drive. And since I often drink, I seldom drive.” Chuckling, he stumbled toward the exit, leaving me to polish off the remnants of my beer – then subtly wipe the residue from my chin before delving into the bottle menu and opting for something a little easier to imbibe GOT A BEERY TALE TO SHARE? YARD BEER BY THE ontapmag.co.za | Winter 2022 | 21