OnTap Magazine

Perfect British pairing Pie and a pint No British road trip is complete without a game of pub cricket. In my family’s version, when your turn comes around, the next three pubs you pass are your innings, and you win points for the number of legs pictured on the pub sign. TheQueen’s Headwill leave youwith zero, the Dog and Partridge a respectable six, while the Wagon and Horses is the holy grail of pub cricket. Wikipedia describes it as “a car game which is played in the United Kingdom and other countries with a sufficient number of suitably named pubs”. I wonder how many other countries count enough pubs in their portfolio to realistically finish a match. PUB CRICKET Upstairs in the cavernous brewery, huge containers of whole hops – East Kent Goldings, Fuggles and Styrian Goldings – were ready to be added to the boil. I got waylaid at the sight of the open fermenters, enjoying the rare chance to see exactly what happens as yeast do their thing. And then for me the best bit of all, watching the casks get filled with English ale then capped with a rubber bung to seal the beer in as it journeys to the pub. After thanking Tim profusely for the opportunity to peek behind the scenes, I too took a journey to the pub. Our final stop was The Brown Cow in the village of Bingley about 8km away. It’s one of the Timothy Taylor flagship pubs and here we tried the full range on cask – a dark version of Landlord, the Knowles Spring Blonde Ale and Boltmaker, a classic Yorkshire bitter. But it is Landlord, a 4.3% ABV pale ale, that I settled on for my final pint of real ale before I started making the long journey home. I think ex-pats tend to be even more critical of Britain than those who still live there. You can’t deny that the weather is largely awful, our political situation in recent years has become nothing short of a national embarrassment and our food, while comforting and often delicious, doesn’t exactly scream ‘healthy diet’. But if you’ll permit me a rare moment to toot my British horn, we sure do make a fine pint of ale. And I challenge you to find anywhere in the world with pubs that can compete with those around the British Isles, beer soaked carpet and all. 1. PORK SCRATCHINGS South African pork crackling cannot compete with proper pork scratchings. These days they come in fancy flavours like smoked maple, habanero or black pepper and garlic, but the best ones are just straight up salty with a thick layer of juicy fat beneath a teeth-cracking layer of skin, ideally still with a few stray pig hairs attached. 2. PIE AND CHIPS If there’s one meal I have to have when I go back to the UK it’s a pub pie and chips. I’m not a pie purist though. I’m a fan of the ‘pot of stew with a hat’ sort of pie – a ceramic pot filled with steak cooked in ale and topped with a crown of crispy puff pastry. Dunk your chips in the pot for maximum deliciousness. 3. ROAST DINNER You can’t go to a pub on a Sunday without partaking in the British institution of a roast dinner. Beef or lamb are best, though on a pub carvery you’re often allowed to choose both. As long as it’s served with a light and fluffy Yorkshire pudding and plenty of rich, meaty gravy, you’re winning. 4. STICKY TOFFEE PUDDING If you’re going to eat unhealthily, you might as well do it properly. British desserts tend to be warming and stodgy. Grab a sticky toffee pudding and custard and wash it down with a half pint of porter. You can sort out the after effects at the gym later. 5. ANYTHING FROM THE FISH MAN I have fond memories of playing in pub beer gardens on those rare, rain- free summer evenings of my youth. And one of the highlights was the arrival of what we called the fish man. Travelling seafood peddlers would go from pub to pub selling prawns, cockles, whelks and mussels, usually soaked in vinegar. It’s not a great way to serve seafood, and a pretty terrible pairing for any beer, but it was a quaint British quirk that seems to have all but disappeared. MY FIVE FAVOURITE PUB FOODS The English roast ontapmag.co.za | Spring 2023 | 29