OnTap Magazine

ontapmag.co.za | Spring 2019 | 29 I t was at the bottom of the third Bone Crusher that the idea hit. We were filming the Darling Brew episode of Beer Country on the ocean’s edge in Paternoster and we had an epiphany: let’s hop in the Landy and go brew a beer deep in the Kalahari. Now, if you have ever met Kevin and Philippa you’ll know the real reason why thebrewery is calledDarling.Geography aside, they are clearly soulmates, but Kevin did let us in on a little secret - his first love was always the Kalahari. This adventure was going to happen come hell or high-tide, which by this time was lapping the front of the fire pit. The night ended withmore wood on the fire, furious planning, beer discussion, and a moon rise over the beach. CHASING THE SUNRISE Now Kevin might operate on African time some days, but true to his word, three years later he came up and said the magic words: pack your bags, we’re going! We love the feeling before heading out on a road trip: thepre-dawnmorning coffee, double checking that you packed the beer, closing the hatches, starting the Landy and chasing the sunrise. When you love journeying for journey’s sake, you don’t get butterflies, you get bats - big fat dusty bats and they were ready to hit the open road. Travelling through the Northern Cape isn’t for everyone but once you pass Clanwilliam, you hit Namaqualand. It’s wild, open, dusty and one of our favourite places in the world. We kicked off with breakfast at the crazily-named Bagdad Café, perhaps the last place you’d expect to find in the one-horse town of Vanrynsdorp. And do you know what pairs really well with a roadside breakfast? An ice-cold Slow Beer, so it was bottoms up for everyone except Kevin who was on driving duty. He never lets anyone else drive his Landy, which meant we got to take charge of the tunes – and enjoy his beers. ROADTRIP BUMPS A few kilometers down the road we discovered why they call this place Die Knersvlakte (The Hardship Plains). The view from the top of the pass is amazing, but the climb proved too much for the Landy. Near the top, Kevin slowed down, stopped, climbed out and well, this is a PG-rated magazine so we’ll leave the language off the page. We had burst a water hose and the engine temp had skyrocketed to hotter than the tar we were standing on. There was nothing to be done but hook up the tow-rope and roll our way into Nieuwoudtville with the sinking feeling that the trip was over before it had begun. With the bonnet up, our Land-Cruiser driving mate, Mickey chirped, “Land Rover - the first car to come with UV-protection for the engine.” Well, I guess we deserved that. Then without skipping a beat, Kevin levels up the jab-scores with, “At least we don’t need a petrol tanker as a support vehicle.” Good times. Back to the task at hand. After a little head-scratching investigation, some pocket-knife hose surgery, a piece of scrap metal pipe and two heavy duty hose-clips, we had MacGyvered ourselves back into business. With the sun getting low, we set up camp on a nearby farm and it was time to light the first braai of the trip. There was only one choice for dinner - the Bone Crusher mussel pot we cooked all those years back on the beach. INTO THE KALAHARI The next morning after kakpraating our way throughevery last pieceof firewood, we set out on the long trek north, over the Orange River, heading to Twee Rivieren - the gateway to the Kalahari. Between the game and the bush, the 160km dry-river-bed drive flew by in a cloud of dust. We made the camp gates at sunset, set up under a huge Acacia, and lit the braai-fire. It was time to brew. On the agenda: Blood Moon. Being a Kalahari beer, we needed Kalahari ingredients. Two fruits that are endemic to the area are Tsamma melons and prickly pears. Tsamma melons make eating raw hops seem like a walk in the park. The bitterness will strip tooth enamel but the seeds are amazing. When toasted they give an earthy, nutty flavour which really compliments the malt. Prickly pear fruit has the most delicious paw-paw and mango character that works a treat with tropical hop aromas. We did mess around with using real Kalahari water, but the road to ruin is paved with good intentions, and if you have ever been to the Kalahari, you’ll know that soapy-salty water doesn’t taste great. Mashing-in in the bush will get even the most chilled camper out of their lazy-chair and walking over to see what’s happening. Within an hour, we had the whole campsite kuiering around the brew. They became even more interested in lengthy brew-chats when they found out that we had ice-cold beer pouring on tap. It’s wild, open, dusty and one of our favourite places in the world As we celebrate all that is magnificent about Mzansi, the Beer Country boys load up a Landy and brew a batch of beer in the most spectacularly South African surroundings imaginable.