OnTap Magazine

A bottle of beer contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. – Louis Pasteur Beer brings us enjoyment, books only frustration! – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. – Kaiser Wilhelm Isn’t beer the holy libation of sincerity? The potion that dispels all hypocrisy, any charade of fine manners? The drink that does nothing worse than incite its fans to urinate in all innocence, to gain weight in all frankness? – Milan Kundera Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. – Dave Barry Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer! – Kaiser Wilhelm Another somewhat dubious quote, at least Louis Pasteur holds a special place in the history of beer. After all, we have him to thank for figuring out the mysteries of fermentation and subsequently setting a path to brewing cleaner tastier beer. Perhaps an observation on the futility of the search for knowledge in the face of inevitable mortality, or perhaps a rationalization of drinking beer with mates rather than tidying up the office. Either way, this comment by the famous German writer just feels right. Perhaps old Kaiser Bill couldn’t find a beer loving lady precisely because he tried to conquer the world. Dragging the world into a war which kills millions doesn’t typically make you the beer drinking buddy of choice, even with a fancy moustache and pointy hat. An excerpt from his novel Ignorance this quote is possibly the best written tribute to the virtues of beer drinking. This very meme-able beer quote predictably comes from a humourist but, as they say, the truth is told in jokes. Unassailable logic from this 16th century rabble-rouser who – best known for his role in kick-starting the protestant reformation – was also responsible for promoting the use of hops in beer at a time when it was outlawed by the catholic church. 07 08 09 11 12 10 36 | Autumn 2023 | ontapmag.co.za